Looking Good
Ahhhhhhh. Dancing. Tango. Its is a sensual dance in all respects. Created in magic between two silent partners speaking volumes.
Ideally.
Then there is the milonga, and your insecurities, and your stories about that person who doesn’t like you but always watches you dance, and your energy levels and how your day went, and what you think this partner is thinking of you, and your outfit and shoes and your not as good as so and so, and and and and…
Lets agree for polite conversation that we spend our entire lives, save a few short moments, completely in our heads. Your entire experience of life is quite literally located in your head. And for the most part we all are listening to that little voice chatting away, labeling, describing, commenting, judging, complementing, responding, resisting, yelling, complaining, enticing, insulting, loving, et al.
Ever notice that you mess up when your thinking about messing up? Lets create something new. Lets just presume that the little voice is never going to go away. How do you dance and grow and enjoy yourself and connect and be entranced with the chatterbox un-muffled? In yoga, the practice of meditation begins with simply sitting there and putting your attention on one thing. That one thing is not important but what if offers you is the insight into how outrageously distractable your mind is. Then you come back to the one thing. Then you inevitably get distracted. Then you come back….and back, and back, and again.
Tango is no different, because life isn’t any different. Can you put your full attention on the senses that are feeling your partner? Can you relax enough to feel more? Can you catch yourself going off into thought-land? Once you are able to notice when your are not immersed in your partner, then you have the option to come back, until then you are trapped in your head and disconnected from that human in front of you that you have the privilege of dancing with. Try it and give yourself a year of practice every chance you get to dance, and you will master it. As my dad says, “100,000 times and presto you’re an expert!”
Can you see that the concern for looking good is simply a thought? And when your thinking that thought on the dance floor, you’re not dancing. You are thinking!
What if you gave up looking good and danced? This has been one of the most important questions for myself and has led to every great night of dancing in the last year. This does not mean, do not be concerned about your aesthetic, appearance or look in general! Lets look next post into the difference between training and dancing and maybe the answer the problem will be there.
With much love and joy to share,
A